Hitchhike 1: One Hundred Watermelons

The directions from Tbilisi to Yerevan are quite easy. There is only one road. So you either go the right way or the complete opposite. It is only two lanes, but often people add an imaginary third one to their convenience.

An old brown car stops. In the car: an old couple and one hundred watermelons. The old man and I are moving some of the watermelons to the sparse empty corners of the car to create a seat completely made out of watermelons. I am buried to my neck. It is not even so uncomfortable. Sometimes one of the 100 watermelons rolls of the pile onto my head.

The man is driving a decent 50 k an hour. The people of the opposite direction often use the imaginary lane between the two visible lanes. Sometimes it feels like the cars just graze each other. My fear for a frontal crash is curved to an image of a frontal crash with the car carrying 50 geese. 100 watermelons 50 geese and four bodies flying through space. Filmed with 1000 frames per second. Wagner playing on the background. I would sacrifice my life for that image.

The car stops at a petrol station. The old woman moves slowly out of the car towards the shop. They don’t speak English and I don’t speak russian. That is okay. We smile a lot.


She moves back to the car, holding three chocolate ice creams. Now i am sitting in the back with only my head visible and my left arm holding a melting ice cream that with a bit of effort reaches my mouth. The melting chocolate ice cream would add another layer to the crash. But we don’t crash. Happily so. This kind of people is already rare, so we have to preserve them carefully.
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